|
January 2007 Newsletter: Healthy and
well?
Happy New Year everyone; the holidays have flown by haven't they? Here is Kate's
January note, prepared before Christmas:
"How's things?" I would ask. "Great, thank you," she would reply. "The family's
all healthy and well. So I'm well, too."
For three years on a Friday morning, Mags came to the Burton household to tackle
the housework. Arriving with her spiky white hair, rosy face and cheery Midlands
voice, she'd change into shorts and T-shirt, regardless of temperatures outside.
Ready for action, the hot challenge of mopping up behind a family always running
from one activity to a next would commence with gusto.
On the Fridays that I was working from home, we'd call a coffee break at 11.00am
to catch up on news and put the world to rights. We'd talk about our families -
mine still at home, hers all grown up and delivering beautiful grandchildren;
about the state of the country and our diets, about marriage and the unexpected
romance she'd rediscovered in her late 60s meeting a new man in her long
distance rambling club.
"I've decided I'm off," she announced one day. "I've sold my flat and am moving
to the south coast. I love the sea, and this is what I've always wanted."
"Good for you, that's wonderful" was my response, stirring a strong cafetiere of
coffee, secretly envious ("I want to live by the beach too") and wondering: "How
am I going to manage to keep this household in order now?" All too soon, her
Raleigh bicycle was in the removal van awaiting a new lease of fun with miles of
sand-strewn promenade alongside the beach.
Mags' philosophy of life is one that I buy into. It goes like this: "When the
family is healthy and well, harmony reigns and life is easy. When something
isn't going well, whether that's sickness or strife, it causes untold unease."
Just now, I'm working with a team where things have gone slightly pear-shaped in
the last year. They're like a family that emerge from separate rooms and pass in
the hall without speaking. The youngsters in the team are stressed out by
working long hours while the older ones are worrying about lowering standards
for customers. All shoot out of the building as fast as they can.
When the elder statesman figure on the team retired recently they decided to
replace his technical skills with some cheaper offshore technicians. It hasn't
worked as they expected. Individually, they enjoy better profits, but they've
lost the cohesion and wisdom provided by the ex-colleague. The emotional super
glue is missing.
Like many such scenarios where a company calls in a consultant like me, they'd
like a quick fix of energy to make it all work again. Yet it's clear that what's
really needed is a slower and longer commitment to rebuilding their
relationships once more.
In well-functioning families, operating with the real ups and downs of life,
there's a vital ingredient of unconditional love. "We're in this for the long
term," is the inherent assumption of those that stick together "and we'll go
with whatever happens to us." Through celebrations and troubled times, they work
it out together.
In well-functioning teams, there's the corporate equivalent of that. 'Love' may
seem too strong a word for you to express how you feel about your colleagues,
but you'll recognise the value of unconditional respect and open dialogue. It's
the same sense of being there for the long term as in the family, for as long as
it takes to do the work together, regardless of the upheavals and celebrations
along the way.
So in working with my team that wants to be healthy and well, it's tempting to
try and rescue them. "It will be OK if you just read this book, and follow this
theory and my plan for you." The danger is that by giving them my answers, and
all at once, they will stop working out better ideas for themselves.
Instead, I'm starting 2007 in a simpler way, respecting my clients' professional
brain power rather than divulging all my ideas for them on day one. It will be
like writing a novel in which the characters develop through the plot and giving
them space for their stories to unfold. The first step is to set my intent for
them in the same way as I do with my own family, following the Mags philosophy
of life. "I want them to be healthy and well, and then I'll be happy."
For this year, our intent for you as readers of this newsletter is that it
becomes your healthiest yet. And that you ask yourself, what might I change, if
anything, in order for that to happen?
Our book Building Confidence for Dummies is full of useful material. Look at
page 150 and there are some principles that can support you. How about
experimenting with something as simple as:
"I can create a healthy life for myself."
"It's never too late to start being healthy."
"My health is my responsibility."
This month's magazines and newspapers will feed you many quick fix diets.
Remember that a healthy life is not just about looking after your physical body
but is affected by your relationships with those you spend time with. We'll talk
more about this in the coming months.
2007 Creative Retreat in Greece
For details of joining Kate on a Creative Retreat in Greece in 2007, contact
kate@kateburton.co.uk.
May you all be healthy and well. Have a great January.
Best
wishes
Kate and Brinley
kate@kateburton.co.uk
This
Confidence newsletter is sent each month to subscribers of
www.yourmostconfidentself.com from Kate Burton and Brinley Platts,
the authors of "Building
Self-Confidence for Dummies" and creators of the Your Most Confident Self
website.
Building Self-Confidence for Dummies by Kate Burton
and Brinley Platts
Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies by
Romilla Ready and Kate Burton
Privacy policy: We will never rent, trade or sell our email list to anyone. You
will never get an unsolicited email from a third party as a result of joining
our list.
New readers are always welcome, please register at
www.yourmostconfidentself.com
© All text in this newsletter is copyright to Kate Burton and Brinley Platts at
www.yourmostconfidentself.com. Feel free to pass it on to others and if you’d
like to quote us in your own publications, all we ask is that you credit it to
ourselves and give our website details.
|
|
