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March 2008 Newsletter: Decisions,
decisions
This Thursday the car will go up for sale on the open market so there’s a deadline. I step up a gear when faced with deadlines. So what should I do? On the plus side, I can afford it and it’s fun to drive. On the minus side, it’s a small two seater and I’m used to large estate cars, ones that carry mounds of supermarket shopping, large bags of compost and all the family luggage. Will fun or practical win, or maybe I can keep both.
When opportunities present themselves I’m in a quandary and stop to re-visit the perennial question: “What do I want?” It forces me to check that out and get clarity. Whether I’m shopping for a car or deciding on a project, there’s a decision point of assessing and prioritising. I feel my ‘hurry up’ driver pushing some buttons like a kid in a sweet shop being urged to make the choice. Should I go for this one now or is there something better if I wait? Does it fit just right for me?
Making such decisions is much easier with a coach.
Fellow coach Julia Porter talks about the power of conscious choice observing that most of us live in a reactive orientation. It’s a point echoed by the work that Brin and I do on career coaching that encourages our clients to pro-actively make choices that give them the best possible opportunities to be truly themselves in the workplace. So often a career is not a sequence of well-thought out choices, more reactions to opportunities when under pressure to change.
Julia introduced me to the work of Robert Fritz in his book ‘The Path of Least Resistance’ where he examines the ways in which you can make choices from a reactive approach. Some of these may be familiar to you.
Often you limit your choices by what you believe to be possible or reasonable. Or you drift along by choosing not to choose – allowing things to happen to you by default. Perhaps you go along with others’ views for fear of discomfort or conflict, or simply conclude that there is something outside of you in control and choosing the circumstances of your life.
This week several friends and clients have spoken about difficult situations that they face which involve making a decision:
In all of these decisions, there is no right or wrong answer. It’s simply a matter of choosing one approach instead of another. In order to be the most confident version of yourself that we wish for you in our book ‘Building Self-Confidence for Dummies’ here’s how you can operate from a position of conscious choice:
Some decisions you make will have a greater impact on your life and your nearest and dearest than others. You may not want to take them too lightly. So remember that you can always work your decisions through in a professional coaching session to get an independent sounding board – a good coach will ask you questions to make you think and will have no vested interest in which route you take, only that you make the best possible choice for you right now. So mail us if you would like a sample session here.
Which brings me back to buying the car. It’s not such a big deal. Just wheels and metal and fun while it lasts. The open road beckons and I’m just off to test drive some more. So have a great month making choices – consciously aware of what it is you are really looking for.
Best wishes
Kate and Brinley
Kate’s new "Neuro-Linguistic Programming Workbook for Dummies" by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton ISBN 9780 470 51973 8 is now out on Amazon and in good bookstores. It’s the sequel to "Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies" by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton ISBN 0764570285
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