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September 2006 Newsletter: Letting
out your light
This
Confidence newsletter is sent each month to subscribers of
www.yourmostconfidentself.com from Kate Burton and Brinley Platts,
the authors of "Building
Confidence for Dummies" and creators of the Your Most Confident Self
website.
Letting out your light
If you visit the "health/psychology" section of your local library, or bookshop,
the dozens of self-help books on display there may bemuse you. It's the same
with personal development workshops and courses, and it can make finding what
you need a bit of a lottery. To help you, here is my simple take on what you
will find there.
The approaches of authors and course leaders generally split into two sorts. The
first, and most plentiful, guide you through defining clearly what you want in
life (goal setting), and then developing and working your plan to get it (strategy).
There are plenty of variations to choose from (finding your muse, forming great
relationships, making millions, etc) but it usually boils down to these two
things.
This "go-getting" approach isn't to everyone's taste and can seem a little
superficial, even disrespectful, to anyone whose problem is that they don't know
what they really want. It can appear like the famous scene in Douglas Adams's
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where the biggest computer in the world spits
out the answer 42, but is unable to define the question to which 42 is the
answer. It probably reflects the American, new world origins of the human
potential movement.
Fortunately, there is another type, subtler and more ancient in origin and
sometimes to be found in the Philosophy section. This type of development can be
summed up as: "know yourself; be yourself." In this tradition you'll find terms
like acceptance, surrender, and "being" (rather than "doing"). Here you get to
face the big questions such as: "who am I?", "what's my purpose?" and "what does
it all mean?" Some people think that if you listen, in silence, the answer will
be revealed. Others believe that only when you strip away convention, and
fashion and the unreasonable expectations of others can you come to realise who
you truly are, from the inside.
This kind of thinking can occasionally be overwhelming to individuals and
frequently threatening to the establishment. In modern western societies it is
often squeezed out by the relentless need for facts and skills acquisition, and
the endless stream of diversionary information we get from TV, newspapers and
increasingly, from the Internet. For the avoidance of doubt (literally), most
cultures in history have imposed rules and spiritual guides to help people find
and stick to the prescribed path.
But in all cultures and in all periods there are rebels who insist on thinking
for themselves and who have the courage to face the big questions and come up
with answers that work for them and their lives. If you are perplexed by life's
big questions, and aren't especially excited by the lure of fame and fortune,
you may be one of life's natural free thinkers who needs to work things out for
yourself. You can find plenty of help; books like "Building Confidence for
Dummies" are full of help. By helping you to think things out for yourself and
showing you how to bring your thoughts into being, through action. This embraces
both traditions, the new world and the old, and it definitely helps you to be
yourself and express yourself.
Kate and I are committed advocates of people thinking for themselves and
expressing themselves powerfully in the world. On 25 October, about eight weeks
away, we are involved in "Bring YourSELF to Work Day". The whole idea of a day
like this is to encourage people to get present to the person they want to be,
then to bring more of this version of themselves to work and show more of it to
their colleagues.
This is a massive, national exercise in self-acceptance and disclosure, being
proud and allowing others to see who you really are, at your best. It can
transform working relationships and lead to all kinds of benefits. It can also
be very fulfilling. If you are interested in taking part go to
www.bringyourselftowork.com and have a look at the inspiring ideas
that others have tried out. Better still, register and you will receive a little
personal encouragement from the team over there.
Best
wishes
Kate and Brinley
brinley.platts@btinternet.com
Building Confidence for Dummies by Kate Burton
and Brinley Platts
Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies by
Romilla Ready and Kate Burton
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